Usually when we talk about being active, we’re referring to exercise, going to the gym, running marathons, or something of the sort.

That makes total sense as to why couples either love or hate the idea. Chances of you and your partner being totally aligned with exercise are slim. Luckily, that’s not what I’m referring to.

Being active together can mean taking a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood after dinner. It could mean taking the dogs for a walk in the morning before the day gets hectic. Being active together could mean traveling, taking the camper into the mountains for the weekend, or (my favorite) going for a motorcycle ride together. It could mean doing a DIY home project together or volunteering at a community function. 

Active is active. It looks differently for every couple, and it should. When we try to be active like the neighbors we’re headed for disaster. Let this become part of your dynamic, part of your identity for as long as it lights both of you up. When it becomes heavy or a chore, time to switch to something else. 

Set aside some time in the next couple of days to brainstorm types of activity you like to do alone and together.

See if you have some similarities. If you have something you’d like to do, schedule a start date. If you don’t come up with something, let it sit for a while and see if either of you have any great ideas in the next few days. The key here is to be willing to try something new.

What do you do if your partner isn’t up for it? 

Oh that’s a hard one! You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do. At least not with the goal of reconnecting. You should check out the post on expectations before you dive into this. 

Here are a few ideas to try to inspire your partner to be active with you:

  • Have them help you brainstorm things you could do to be more active. Ask them if they would like to do something with you. 
  • Add some small activities and invite them to join you. Something like walking out to see how the flowers have bloomed along the side of the house. 
  • Phrase it differently. You could use something along the lines of wanting to get out of the house more. 
  • Share your experience with them when you get back. Talk about the beautiful sunrise you stopped to admire or the freshness of the mountain morning.

Regardless of what you do, remember to be patient. Share your experience with them but genuinely just to share. It’s okay if they don’t want to join you. Don’t take it personally. They’ll see the changes in you as you are more active and may decide to join you at some point, and they may not.

The point is to connect through activity. Of course it’s different if they join you versus if they don’t. However, the connection can be there either way as you share the love of what lights you up. 

Until next time,
Tonya Marie

P.S. Grab the free journal prompts that accompany this “Rekindling the Flame: 30 Days to a Stronger Relationship” blog series at the link below.