One of my core pillars of relationships is the idea of togetherness.

There is so much to that concept that speaks to my soul. However, today I’m sharing about time apart and how it can be a tool to bring you closer together. 

When I was younger, I remember seeing a magnet on my sister’s fridge that said, “How can I miss you if you won’t go away?” That still makes me chuckle, and I love the sass behind it. Now, I see it differently and have a new appreciation for the truth behind the sass. 

Most likely you have time apart already. We spend most of our days at work and going home feels a little like bliss. There is a rhythm of getting up, going to work, coming home, and going to bed. While there may be more to it than that, it’s how life begins to feel when we’re living the same routine over and over. 

That routine becomes mundane and you feel like you’re living in the movie, Groundhog Day. 

If you and your partner have noticed that you’re in a type of Groundhog Day Rut, spend some time apart to shift the energy. Get out of the daily status quo and go on a girls trip, send him off on the fishing trip he’s been thinking of. Don’t take those trips in the same week. Each of you takes time away while the other is home doing their same routine. Why? Because it won’t feel the same when the other isn’t there. 

So much clarity comes when you’re in your own energy, handling your typical day-to-day without your partner’s contribution. 

While on one hand, you may feel a little relief with one less person to care for, you’ll also notice what they do to contribute that you may have overlooked. When you set this as your intention, you’ll see even more. Take a minute to write those things down and be sure to share your appreciation for all you realized while they were away. 

Not all time apart needs to be a trip or mini vacation. You can spend time apart in your town by signing up for a local class that interests you, going to dinner with friends regularly, or volunteering with a cause that lights you up. In your home, you can give each other space by sleeping in another room here and there or reading in a different space, working outside while he’s in the garage. 

The point is to give each other time to process life, let go of the energy that comes and goes from all aspects of life, give space so that when you come back together you’re ready for each other. 

Simply giving each other space and spending time apart can help you feel more connected than being attached at the hip.

That time away will give you more to talk about and bring a new energy to your conversations. 

Reconnect by spending time apart. Just don’t forget to be intentional about it. 

Until next time,
Tonya Marie

P.S. Grab the free journal prompts that accompany this “Rekindling the Flame: 30 Days to a Stronger Relationship” blog series at the link below.

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